


save money at the airport with travel sized emotional baggage

by curlydots



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M, emotionally repressed samurai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 12:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16618676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlydots/pseuds/curlydots
Summary: If their fucking has always been an extension of their fighting then what the hell was this?





	save money at the airport with travel sized emotional baggage

**Author's Note:**

> i knew as soon as takasugi showed up that he'd be a fucking angst goldmine and he hasn't disappointed me

Things had gotten off to a promising start—Gintoki hauling him into a kiss by his collar, him drawing blood with his teeth, Gintoki frantically shoving his clothes out of the way—but of course he wasn't one to make good on his threats. He was all bark and no bite, as it were. There was no trace of his supposedly sadistic and uncaring nature to be found in the two of them tangled together in the home where he was raising his fake children.

It's warm out, pleasant even if the two of them hadn't been fucking for long enough for everything to feel like heat. They're entirely too sober as well, compared to the last time Takasugi allowed this to happen, as evidenced by the fact that nothing hurt. Gintoki had worked him open with something irritatingly close to tenderness, ignoring Takasugi's nails on his skin and the curses hurled his way in favor of twisting their rendezvous into something it wasn't.

And what it was supposed to be was a habitual dip into their respective masochism and self-loathing, something both scathing and entirely free of thought. An act that had him aching in places apart from his left eye and nothing more.

With Gintoki in him like this, missionary so he can kiss him and leave kind bruises along his neck, he could almost mistake him for a lover, instead of a fresh wound shaped like his former friend.

Takasugi doesn't do this; gain pleasure from things remembered, the way that Gintoki's sure hand on his body makes easy. He certainly doesn't find comfort in the visions who haunt his nightmares. They both get off when Takasugi has his way and he leaves with the knowledge that he can still kill Gintoki anytime he pleases. But this doesn't feel like an encounter that'll leave him unchanged.

Gintoki touches his face, stroking his cheek before kissing him again and Takasugi's arm tightens around his shoulder, playing along with Gintoki's performance of intimacy against his will. Gintoki’s bare skin feels hot beneath his touch, and he finds himself wondering pointlessly, if they've ever had sex while fully undressed, or on a futon, or for longer than it generally took two war torn teenagers to get off.

If their fucking has always been an extension of their fighting then what the hell was this?

Takasugi makes a noise, undignified and high-pitched at the rolling of Gintoki's body into his. He can feel Gintoki smile (hidden against his neck lest it remind him that he despises Gintoki) but does nothing about it. The unhurried nature of the afternoon makes his ever present rage feel slippery and distant. Besides he knows what Gintoki's mockery feels like and the satisfied huff of breath he lets out at getting Takasugi to vocalize his pleasure isn't it.

Gintoki grunts as Takasugi tugs at his hair. In truth Takasugi isn't trying to hurt him but he feels no need to correct whatever assumptions Gintoki makes. He makes no effort to relax his hold either. When they were younger he might have cared about matching Gintoki's strength but he doesn't care to match his weakness.

Perhaps it's that very weakness of his that let's Gintoki shrug off the nails digging into his scalp and focus instead of kissing his face. He doesn't hate the feeling as badly as he should, but his complacency let's Gintoki catch him completely off guard by kissing his left eyelid.

"Ow, ow, _ow_." Gintoki draws back with a wince and the ache in his eye lessens. It takes a moment for Takasugi to realize that he's drawing blood across Gintoki's shoulder and trying to pull out his hair. He lets up on his shoulder, but still drags him into a kiss.

The force of it makes Gintoki's lip bleed anew and the taste of copper fills his mouth. Normally he finds the flavor might make him harder but today it only turns his stomach.

When he finally decides to let go Gintoki searches his face. He doesn't insult Takasugi by voicing his concern aloud but its presence makes him nauseous all the same.

Takasugi throws an arm over his face so he doesn't have to endure Gintoki's expression when he laughs. "Don't," he says to the dark.

Ever the liar Gintoki says. "I'm not going to," as though he's ever been capable of not caring.


End file.
